Alright, let’s talk about this… this… “esoteric astrology chart calculator” thing. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Like somethin’ them city folks would yap about. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t so different from readin’ the signs the good Lord gives us every day, just a bit more… complicated, I guess.
So, what is it, this esoteric astrology chart calculator? Well, it’s like this. You know how them almanacs tell ya when to plant yer corn or when the fish gonna be bitin’? This here chart thingy, it tries to tell ya stuff ’bout yerself, ’bout yer life, based on when you were born and where them stars and planets were hangin’ out at that time. Now, I ain’t sayin’ I believe it all, but some folks swear by it.
They say it can tell ya ’bout yer personality, yer strengths, yer weaknesses. Stuff like if you’re gonna be stubborn like a mule, or if you got a heart of gold, or if you’re gonna have a good harvest season but you also should watch out for thieves. They even say it can give ya a hint ’bout yer future. Like if you’re gonna meet a tall dark stranger, or if you should watch out for slippery stairs on a Tuesday in the next month or so. I tell you what, watchin’ where you step is always a good idea no matter what them charts says. Again, I ain’t sayin’ I believe it all, but it’s kinda interestin’ to think about, ain’t it?
- First, you gotta find one of these calculators online. They’re everywhere these days, like them dandelions in the spring. Just type somethin’ like “birth chart calculator” or “natal chart calculator” into that Google thingy on the computer – the kids showed me how to use it.
- Then, you gotta put in yer birthday, the time ya were born, and the place. Now, the time part, that’s where it gets tricky. Some folks don’t know exactly when they were born. Back in my day, we didn’t have all them fancy clocks and watches. But do yer best, that’s all you can do.
- Once you got all that in, the calculator will spit out somethin’ that looks like a big ol’ mess of circles and lines and symbols. Don’t you go frettin’ now. It’s just a map of the sky the moment you were born. It looks complicated but city folks love over complicating things, you know how it is.
Now, that’s where it gets real complicated, and that’s where them city folks with their fancy books and big words come in. They say each of them symbols and lines means somethin’. Like, if your sun was in Aries when you were born, they say that means somethin’ ‘bout you being fiery and energetic like that ol’ rooster we used to have on the farm that always crowed way too early. If it was in Leo, they say you’re proud and like to be the center of attention like my cousin Martha always was. And if it was in Capricorn, they say you’re hard workin’ and stubborn as an old goat.
And then there’s all them other planets too – the moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. They all mean somethin’ different, and they all affect each other. It’s like a big ol’ puzzle, tryin’ to figure out how it all fits together.
Now, me, I don’t pretend to understand it all. But I do believe that there’s more to this world than what we can see with our own two eyes. I believe that the stars and the planets, they have an influence on us, whether we realize it or not. Just like the moon pulls the tides, maybe it pulls on us too, in ways we don’t quite understand. Like how sometimes everyone in the town seems to get grumpy all at once. Maybe it’s the stars, maybe it’s just the weather, or maybe it’s just cause old Mr. Johnson’s prize pig ran off again.
So, if you’re curious about this esoteric astrology chart calculator stuff, go ahead and give it a try. It might not tell ya everything, but it might give ya somethin’ to think about. And who knows, maybe it’ll even help ya understand yerself a little bit better. Just don’t go makin’ any big life decisions based on it. Use yer own good sense, that’s what the good Lord gave it to ya for. And if you got troubles, well, a good cup of tea and a chat with a friend is usually better than any of this chart reading stuff anyways.
But if you do decide to use it, don’t go blamin’ me if it turns out you’re supposed to marry a one-eyed fisherman or somethin’. That ain’t my fault.
Anyways, that’s all I got to say on this chart business. It’s a complicated world, and folks are always lookin’ for answers. Maybe this here chart thing has some, maybe it don’t. But it don’t hurt to look, just so long as ya don’t forget to look at what’s right in front of yer eyes too.
Tags: [Esoteric Astrology, Astrology Chart, Birth Chart, Natal Chart, Horoscope, Astrology Calculator, Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Rising Sign, Planets, Astrology Reading]
