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Well, hey there, y’all! Let’s get down to business and talk about this here… uh… what do you call it? Vice Monthly Horoscope, yeah, that’s it. Sounds fancy, but don’t you worry, I’ll make it plain as day.
So, they say December starts with the sun in some Sagittarius thing. Don’t ask me what that means, sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. But hey, if it helps you plan your month, who am I to judge? They got these things for all the signs, like Scorpio and what not. Monthly Horoscope they call it. Makes it sound important, right?
Now, they got this Vice thing, seems like they send out these horoscopes in a letter… a newsletter, they call it. Gets it right to your door, or your inbox, whatever that is. Fancy folks, I tell ya. They talk about Aquarius season and all sorts of things. February 2024, they even know what happened way back then! Must be some smart cookies.
Then there’s Capricorn, in January 2024. They say you “come a long way” and should “celebrate”. Well, I say, every day you wake up is a reason to celebrate! Don’t need no horoscope to tell me that. But hey, if it makes you feel good, go ahead and celebrate, I ain’t stoppin’ ya.
- They talk about relationships gettin’ “reborn and refreshed”. Sounds like a whole lotta drama to me. Relationships are hard work, let me tell ya. No amount of stars and planets gonna change that. But maybe a little “refresh” ain’t a bad thing, I guess.
- Then they got these things for Aries and Cancer… more signs, more mumbo jumbo. Honestly, I can’t keep up with all of ’em. But people seem to like it, so who am I to complain?
Now, this Vice Horoscopes thing, seems like it ain’t around no more. But this lady, Annabel, she’s still doin’ it on her own, on somethin’ called a Substack. Good for her, I say. Gotta make a livin’ somehow.
Let’s see, what else they got here… Libra Money Horoscope. Now that’s somethin’ I can understand. Money talks, honey! They say you should talk to a “financial advisor”, fancy name for a money man. Says you gotta be careful with your money, but also keep your chin up. Sounds like good advice to me, horoscope or no horoscope.
And then there’s Leo… talkin’ about “goals” and how you “show up in the world”. Well, I say, you show up the best you can, every single day. Work hard, be kind, that’s my motto. They mention a “new moon in Sagittarius” and somethin’ about “love, passion and creativity”. Sounds like a whole lotta excitement, maybe too much for an old gal like me!
Lastly, we got Aquarius Career Horoscope. Talkin’ about “professional growth” and showin’ off your “talents”. Well, I ain’t got no fancy talents, but I can bake a mean apple pie, that’s for sure! They say you should work with other folks, “collaboration” they call it. Teamwork makes the dream work, I always say. And if you’re lucky, you might get a new project or a better job.
So, there you have it, folks. The Vice Monthly Horoscope, or whatever you wanna call it. Take it with a grain of salt, I say. Life’s too short to worry about what the stars are doin’. But if it gives you a little somethin’ to think about, well, I guess it ain’t hurtin’ nobody. You just do your best and don’t let nobody tell you different. That’s all the advice you need, you don’t need some fancy stars telling you how to live your life, you hear?
Remember, the most important thing is to be good to yourself and good to others. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my chickens.
Tags: [Monthly Horoscope, Vice, Astrology, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Capricorn, Aries, Cancer, Libra, Leo, Relationships, Career, Money, Forecast]
